Tag Archives: Ice

Adios Long Island. Hola Applebees!

Applebees has taken an old staple for heavy drinking and released a PG-21 version.

Traditionally, the Adios Motherfucker starts out life as a Long Island Iced Tea, but instead of adding Sweet & Sour Mix along with Coca-Cola, you throw in 1 shot of Blue Curaçao, instead. This means the drink is utterly lacks any non-alcoholic component, save the ice.

Applebees now offers a watered down version of this recklessly strong classic. It still boasts a blend of vodka, tequila, rum, gin, triple sec, and blue curaçao—but they lighten the pours so that Sweet & Sour plus Sierra Mist also fit in the glass.

I promise you that this drink will be an underweight sugar-bomb, but through the month of September they cost only $1. In a cute little homage to this drink’s roots—as well as to the passing of Summer—they simply call it, Adios.

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Apparently, People Drink Icebergs?

Naturally-formed ice traps pockets of air as it freezes. Large and old deposits of ice like glaciers and icebergs can contain air encased since before Columbus’ voyage.

So, in niche Chilean cocktail bars you can drink a breath of fresh air, where they add chipped iceberg ice to their drinks.

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#4 Unhealthiest Drink in America

No, Red Lobster’s Raspberry Lobsterita does not contain any actual lobster. However, what it does entail is a whole bunch of sugar, and a martini glass so large you may have to use two hands to hoist it to your lips.

Alcohol melts ice rapidly. For this reason frozen/blended drinks will never be particularly boozy. Thus, when the possibility of a booze-forward drink is removed, and even the most refreshing of sour flavors get oppressive in large quantities, all that you are left with which to fill the glass will be sugar & artificial fruit flavors.

Shaved ice is delicious, and would it not be improved with a splash of booze? Absolutely! but that truly is no cocktail, and neither are such frozen drinks as are topping out this list.

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#6 Unhealthiest Cocktail in America

TGI Friday’s once again makes the Top 10 with their Flaming Frozen Lava Flow. Apparently this cocktail comes with a flaming bit of paraffin wax on top, but that does not overcome the fact that it is another frozen (blended) drink.

Blended ice melts really quickly in an alcoholic solution, which means that in order to make a frozen cocktail it will have a whole bunch of sugar and cream, with very little booze.

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#9 Unhealthiest Cocktail in America

Health Magazine Eat This, Not That! put together a list of the least healthy cocktails at America’s most popular chain restaurants. Apparently, drinking 1 of today’s cocktail equates to eating 80 Sour Patch Kids gummies!

The Outback Steakhouse Watermelon Hunch Punch advertises as delighting the senses with Lemonade, Watermelon (sugary purée, I assume) and Ole Smokey Blackberry Moonshine (except it’s a 20% ABV cordial).

For my rant on how this is not a worthwhile cocktail see Sunday’s post: #10 Unhealthiest Cocktail in America. You would have to drink 4 of these to match the potency of a single 10 oz. rum & coke.

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#10 Unhealthiest Cocktail in America

Health Magazine Eat This, Not That! compiled a list of the least healthy cocktails at America’s most popular chain restaurants. I am not here to dissuade anyone from enjoying a tasty beverage at dinner, rather I like seeing the small-potatoes that people get riled up over.

Some of these genuinely do sound scrumptious, but having bartended at one of America’s most popular chain restaurants (indeed, one that makes this top 10 list) I assure you that they all throw alcohol and artistry out the window in favor of sugar-bombing your pancreas. That said, enjoy!

Outback Steakhouse’s Huckleberry Hooch Moonshine Cocktail

  • 1.25 oz Ole Smoky Blackberry Moonshine
  • 0.5 oz Monin Huckleberry
  • 1.0 oz Cranberry Juice
  • 0.5 oz Orange Juice
  • 0.5 oz Pineapple Juice
  • 2 Blackberries
  • 2 Strawberry slices
  • Top with soda water

This recipe is deceptive in 2 regards. Firstly, Moonshine is a spirit of at least 95% alcohol—whereas Ole Smoky Blackberry is only 20% ABV.

Secondly, in a standard cocktail (Rum & Coke, Gin & Tonic, Screw Driver, etc…) half of the liquid is a 40% ABV spirit and the other half is non-alcholic (juice, soda, water, etc…).

What this means is that a normal cocktail is 20% alcohol before the ice melts. Accordingly, Outback’s Huckleberry Hooch Moonshine Cocktail is pathetically 5.9% alcohol by volume.

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Be a Whiskey Chemist!

Here is a fact that I found strange when I came across it: adding a drop of water to your glass of whiskey-neat sets off a chemical reaction that actually raises its temperature by a couple of degrees.

When you add a drop of water to your whiskey-neat (there needs to be no ice) it jars the alcohol-molecules loose from the flavor-molecules. Once the flavor-molecules are freed the whiskey will taste different, and a wider array of flavors will be suddenly available to your palate.

Conversely, adding ice to your whiskey will mute its flavors and intensity. Thus, depending on if the whiskey you ordered is too intense or not enough so you can alter its taste accordingly with either ice or water.

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