Tag Archives: California

Illinois: A 277% Upgrade

To this day I remember the awe in which I found myself when I moved to Illinois 10 years ago. “People here drink so much,” I thought to myself, “I love it!”

I confirmed my observations when I discovered a fun bars per capita statistic. When you compare the number of bars to the number of people in a given state you can draw some conclusions about how much public drinking people do there.

According to this chart I moved from 36th to 13th, and I believe this helps explain why I remained in Illinois, even though I finished school 6 years ago.

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Green Oranges Taste Orange

Oranges play a funny trick when they grow up in warm climates.

Many fruits start out green, but Oranges will ripen without turning orange in warm climates. They need a little cold crisp air at night to change color.

This is why oranges in Florida & Texas are usually used for juicing, whereas California oranges—which get a natural chill at night—are sold whole in stores.

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Booze + Coffee= 90

Some of the good folks over at the University of California, Irvine like to study old people and what has helped them to live past 90. In a study that began with 14,000 retirees they examined the lifestyles of 1,600 really old people.

Among their findings they found that 1 serving of alcohol and 1 serving of coffee daily contributes to a longer life. They also found that people who are overweight when in their 70s live longer than skinny 70 year olds.

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Florida Makes Green Oranges

Florida boasts a booming orange juice industry, and they have Christopher Columbus to thank for it. Oranges originated in ancient China when a hybrid tree was born from grapefruit and mandarins.

Columbus introduced sweet oranges to the Carribean on his second voyage to the New World in 1493. Orange trees readily took to the Carribean climate, except their farmers were baffled when the fruit ripened, but the skin of the oranges actually stayed green!

What they did not know at the time is that in climates with cooler nighttime temperatures oranges turn orange. In climates with lots of heat day & night (like the subtropical Carribean) the fruit will ripen and taste sweet, but the color of the rind will remain green!

This is why you see orange juice from Florida, whereas most of the whole oranges we find in supermarkets come from California. The off-color fruit from Florida readily turns into tasty orange juice without weirding anyone out.

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Warriors Don’t Shy from Champaign

For professional athletes nothing gets better than winning their championship. Near ubiquitously, our champions sacrifice champaign heavenward to the gods of victory (the exception being Indy 500 drivers who celebrate with…milk).

When the Golden State Warriors won the NBA championship in 2018 they celebrated like countless victorious athletes have before them: with champagne. However, their party planners armed them with Moët Impérial Golden Luminous Magnum Bottles and Moët Nectar Rose Public School Luminous Magnums.

Thusly, they decorated the locker room with over $400,000 worth of bubbles.

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Franzia’s Naughty Fraud-y Secret

In the late 1980s White Zinfandel (a happy accident, & more on that later) exploded on the U.S. wine scene. Its sudden uptick in popularity left a drastic draught in supply, and this draught lead to a profitable opportunity for illicit wine-works.

Each variety of wine comes from a very specific variety of grape. When suddenly a deficiency of Zinfandel grapes cropped up, several dark entrepreneurs figured that it would prove much quicker to lie to the American public than it would to plant & develop entire vineyards of new Zinfandel grapes. So inferior types of grapes were sold to wineries as Zinfandel grapes.

Together with 5 other vintners, Fred Franzia helped to defraud the California wine market of $26 million. This CEO of Franzia managed to escape prison time by pointing out that the small town in which he headquartered would be devastated were he & the jobs his business offered to disappear.

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Sparkling Cannabis Wine is Now a Thing

Located in California’s esteemed Napa Valley, Saka Wines has developed the world’s first Sparkling Cannabis Rosé. The wine itself is a blend of Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, and Pinot Meunier.

In accordance with California Law (where recreational Marijuana is perfectly legal) cannabis-infused wines must have the alcohol removed. However, since weed-beverage drink sales in the U.S. are forecasted to eclipse $1 billion by 2023 I am guessing that Saka’s non-alcoholic-pot-infused Sparkling Rosé will not disappoint those who now wish to drink the Devil’s Lettuce.

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